I have been trying to lose the baby weight. I feel like I have been doing this for 13 years…well I have been I guess. It’s a long term battle for me. I will lose a few pounds and then Christmas or a vacation will come around and they creep back on. I actually started running so that I could burn calories to allot to wine. I need to factor the calories in. This week, I just got back from vacation and gained back all the weight I had lost in the past bit.

Ellyn with wine

No matter where you are on your calorie intake, we have days where we overindulge. Maybe you have a few too many drinks at a party and then have hangover McDonalds. Maybe you go to your favourite restaurant and order 3 big courses and enjoy every second of it.

I had a friend that used to plan when she could over indulge. The entire day before, all she would do is eat vegetables. She would cut them up into a giant ziplock bag and carry it around. That takes extreme will power, especially if you have kids you are serving mac and cheese, cookies or garlic bread. I could never do it.

My problem is, I eat something extravagant, and then I immediately feel guilt for overeating. Why? I should be able to simply enjoy my extravagance, but I think I have been on a diet so long that I have trained myself to feel guilt. This guilt can lead to many decisions, but I find there are 2 big options I see.

1.    To say screw it and keep eating badly. I have already blown it. Its too hard….I feel fat…..might as well eat…

2.    To accept the indulgence, we need to live life and enjoy it, to be thankful for the treat and to keep on your calorie/consumption goal. I need to believe I am good enough for a treat but not let it derail or sabotage me.

This seems like there is an obvious right choice but when faced with all your friends eating hamburgers and fries while you look at a salad with grilled chicken, it all goes to hell in a hand basket. Often time, I waffle back and forth between the two choices or feelings.

My point to this story is that we as women beat ourselves up. We want to be skinny because that is what we think is pretty. I once went two years without eating a whole chocolate bar. Some might call it will power but I do not think so. I think we need to give ourselves a break. I think we need to be a woman and eat a nice meal, cake on our birthday and drinks in Mexico. No, we do not need to give ourselves heart disease by letting it all rip but we need to enjoy life. It’s the every day decisions we make that add up not the one meal. A simple habit of making your dinner portions slightly smaller each day is more helpful then not eating a hamburger once and a while.

I could get hit by a car tomorrow and I do not want to go out without chocolate. What I need to learn is how to balance it all! A well-balanced diet and exercise has to be the way to go. I do not care if I fit in someone else’s mold. I want to live and enjoy life! I wish this for us all.

Do you have any tips, tricks or stories? I would love to hear them.

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Written by Ellyn Figley
Helping moms feel less crazy