Teenagers throughout the world have disappeared! They have been replaced by moody zombies that just want to disappear into whatever room their Xbox or Playstation is installed. Mindcraft and Fortnite have high jacked our teens. For the purposes of this blog, I will be discussing violent video games. I would also like to recognize that some teens play video games here and there but do not spend a great deal of time. I am going to discuss the group of kids that LOVE to play video games and would do so all day and night if they could.
Now most teenagers do not want to hang out with their parents, I get that. I did not have dreams of my son and I skipping in the park or playing board games. However, I have watched my boys try to skip meals because they would rather keep playing. Some people are calling it an addiction, some people are saying it is normal teenage antics and some people are even saying it makes kids smarter! There is a lot of information out there and it is hard to sift through.
There are many people with PhD’s doing studies but that does not help me speak to my son who does not understand why we are concerned about his gaming. They do not help me deal with the anger of a pubescent boy who has had the only thing he cares about taken away. Then you have a kid that has nothing to do but watch TV because all his friends are online. The kids all play together and talk to each other on their headphone microphones. The social structure for these kids has completely changed to playing online with friends. Kids do not meet to hang out like they did when I was young.
Video games and kids: The Cons
Being attached to a video screen as much as a parent will allow seems really dreary and boring to us. I look back on my teen years with such fond memories of tandem biking with my friend, drinking slurpees and roller blading, binge watching rented movies, sleepovers and even talking on the phone for hours. Sitting in one spot does not interest me at all but it does our kids.
The violence in many video games is the biggest concern. Will our kids be less sensitive to violence in real life because they are participating in violence online every day? Will the violence they watch create more aggressive reactions to life? Does wanting to shoot and kill things constantly effect their brain development, their expectations and goals?
If kids are in their own rooms, playing video games as much as they can, then they are not choosing to study or participate in sports or social events. Now many kids have full expectations of studying or watching a movie with their sibling, but the problem is when it comes down to it, if given a choice, many kids choose to keep playing. Once they start, they do not want to stop. I know many kids that have stopped playing organized sports because they would rather play video games. The complaint is that video games are creating kids with failing grades and failing health. Kids are not meeting to play road hockey or ride their bikes and get the exercise they need to be healthy. They are no longer playing soccer or hockey and required studying or possibly even doing their homework.
All of the above upsets me but the behavior I witness with my son is the worst. When these kids get together online there is a group behavior of yelling at each other through the microphone. There is swearing, yelling and very poor behavior. It concerns me that this whole group of children thinks it is appropriate to treat each other this way. It also concerns me that my other children are hearing this behavior because the yelling is so loud. Lastly, I just plain get annoyed by hearing it. Hanging out with friends, learning what to say and what not to say are important for social skills. Listening to 8-year old’s talk at the park can make you cringe as they can be really awkward. You learn social skills by being social in social situations and this group of kids is not doing that as the conversation is just about the game.
Research is beginning to show that video games are addictive. Many parents believe this after taking video games away from their child. I have seen colossal melt downs that rival a scene in the Exorcist. A family doctor told me that the more extreme the reaction to video games being taken away, the more that child might have a problem with addiction. It is theorized that video games give kids a rush like people get when they gamble or do drugs. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain, which is primarily associated with feelings of pleasure, motivation and can affect mood. Some doctors/researchers believe that dopamine levels can change so much that the children become addicted like they would be to the rush of drugs or gambling. The only answer to addiction is to take it away. An alcoholic gives up alcohol, a gambler gives up gambling and a drug user will give up narcotics to conquer their addiction.
Video games and kids: The Pros
There are a group of people who disagree that video games are addictive and actually argue that they might teach kids valuable skills. No one can argue that kids learn hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills and spatial skills playing video games. Gamers reaction times are quick, and they are multitasking while playing. Some argue that kids are learning concentration skills and improving memory through playing.
When playing Fortnite, kids learn directions such as North and South. Kids need to map where their opposition is and where they have been. In order to stay alive in Fortnite, kids need to learn problem solving, planning and logic. For example, a kid might have to keep himself alive and plan an attack against 4 other people without killing his buddy. When there is a large fight, gamers have to choose if they engage in the fight to get “kills” and “loot” or not to engage because there is a high probability that you would be eliminated, be put in a bad position or get trapped and eliminated. Although I hope my son does not need to make a decision about life or death, I can appreciate that he is learning problem solving skills.
Although there is the argument that video games are not helping kids with social skills, some say the opposite. Some argue that because many games are played on teams, kids (and adults) have to work together to complete the game. This allows some kids to have a group of friends to play with that they might not have at school. This engagement might give them feelings of belonging to a social group or confidence that they can’t get in other situations. It might even make kids more tolerant of different types of people.
I asked my son Jack what he thinks the advantages of video gaming are. The first thing he said was it was very social. Jack said that because you play Fortnite in groups, you need to learn to get along with a variety of people including “angry people”. Within these groups, you need to use teamwork to get the job done and you need to strategize and learn how to handle situations with difficult people. Jack also feels like he has some positive role models within the streaming world. Well known and profitable streaming gamers encourage young kids to believe in themselves and to follow a path where they do something they love. Jack says that some of his mentors donate a considerable amount of their earnings to charity and like to help younger people achieve their dreams. His last point will be controversial. Jack believes that playing Fortnite helps him let go of negative emotions such as anger and frustration. He says it helps him release negative feelings. He sees this as “very therapeutic”. It could be argued that he can only deal with emotions by distracting himself in the game or making oneself numb.
I asked myself what I think might be an advantage of gaming and the first thing I thought of was learning tech skills. Jack has learned a great deal about technology since he started playing online. I can also appreciate that if he is in his room playing his games that he is not out drinking or getting into trouble. Some of the craziest teen moments I have every heard about happened when teens got bored. To be honest, Jack is so loud when he is playing, I can tell when he is in my house and safe.
There is also a rebuttal to the video games and addiction situation. In the book Moral Combat: Why the War on Violent Video Games Is Wrong by Patrick Markey and Christopher Ferguson, it is argued that video gaming changes dopamine levels in the brain to about the same degree that eating a slice of pepperoni pizza or dish of ice cream does (without the calories). All things pleasurable raise dopamine levels, they say video games raise dopamine levels to roughly double it’s normal resting level, whereas drugs like heroin, cocaine, or amphetamine raise dopamine by roughly ten times that much.
Video Games and kids: The Third View
In all major changes in history, there has been a group of people opposed. Let’s face it, change is not always appreciated and is openly fought. I went to a lecture where the speaker once compared video games to the Beatles. The speaker said that the parents of the kids in love with the Beatles felt like they were devil music. Parents thought that the Beatles were corrupting their children. Parents worried about their long hair and their moral values. Elvis Presley shook his hips and also caused an uproar. There were groups of people against women voting or wearing pants. Could this be the next big change for teens? Are parents over-reacting to video gaming? If we push against it, will it make kids want to play even more? This is an interesting viewpoint. I have thought about this a lot,
Video Games and Kids: What can we do?
So now that we have discussed the pros and cons of gaming, what do we do? I feel a little lost. For years, we have changed the Wi-Fi code at the kid’s bedtime each evening. This would prevent them from using the internet when they were supposed to be sleeping and allowed us to take it away from a child that had made a mistake and needed a consequence. When the kids had done their homework, done their chores and we felt they were in their screen time limits, we could give them the days password. Our rule of thumb was 2 hours a day of any technology if time allowed. Many parents have house rules, when screen time is allowed and not allowed and when it can be taken away. It seems like the responsible way to keep our kids from becoming addicted. The down side of this is kids do not learn how to prioritize their homework, how to manage their own time or to make good choices as we are doing it for them.
I feel like video games and kids are going to be an issue for a very long time and the debate will continue for many years. What does your family do with gaming time? I would love to hear your opinions and solutions.
